And there a woman met him,
With the attire of a harlot, and a crafty heart. (Proverbs 7:10)
• Guard your eyes. Follow Job’s example: “I have made a covenant with my eyes;/Why then should I look upon a young woman?” (Job 31:1) While the heart is always at the root of a sin problem, the eyes are obviously a primary portal by which the world and all its trappings enter into that heart. So if you encounter a woman (or a picture of one) who is immodestly dressed or provocatively dressed, it is advisable to avert your eyes; and if you are required to talk to such a person or be in her company, it is equally advised to keep your eyes at eye-level. The eyes must be disciplined just as any other part of the body.
Whether an immodestly-dressed woman realizes it or not, her dress is meant for seduction—she is soliciting you sexually. Don’t be sucked in by it. But even if a woman is dressed appropriately, a man can look too long and too longingly. Don’t stare—it’s not only rude, it can be dangerous.
Determine not to seek out women or pictures of women who you know will be dressed immodestly, seductively, or in a sexually provocative manner. And if you are a woman, don’t dress in such a way as to seduce. A woman can look attractive without being seductive. Some see gray lines here (“who’s to say?”), but the Bible explicitly teaches that there is such a thing as “the attire of a harlot”: if you care about pleasing God and loving your neighbor, learn what that sort of attire is, and don’t wear it.
• Guard your heart, soul, and mind. “Keep your heart with all diligence,/For out of it spring the issues of life.” (Proverbs 4:23) “Thorns and snares are in the way of the perverse;/He who guards his soul will be far from them.” (Proverbs 22:5) Going down the wrong path often means taking that path solely in your mind; and “looking” at a woman may simply mean replaying in your memory sights already taken in. If it is wrong to look and lust, it is just as wrong to remember and lust.
Sometimes wrong thoughts cross the mind and may seemingly come out of nowhere. Throw them out immediately; tell them they are not welcome here. Flee tempting thoughts just as vigorously as you might flee flesh-and-blood temptations. Luther gave this wise admonition: “You cannot keep the birds from flying over your head, but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair.” And you are far less likely to be tempted by immoral thoughts if your head is filled with what is good, true, pure, and honorable to begin with (Philippians 4:8, 9).
Likewise, don’t give your heart and affections and mental attentions to anyone other than your spouse, even if it appears to have no association with your external behavior. Married or not, don’t fantasize. Don’t let your imagination take you running down a path to immoral thoughts—thoughts that represent immoral actions were they acted out in “real” life. Whether you are looking at a live woman, looking at a picture, or letting your imagination conduct the entire show, sexual fantasies are sin, and there is no place for them in the mind of a Christian man or woman.
“Dear God in heaven above, we give You thanks for the eyes in our head and for our ability to behold the beauty of Your creation. We pray that we would be equally attracted to the beauty of Your holiness and that our eyes and hearts would be attuned to both. Help us to discipline our eyes and thoughts and affections to do Your will at all times; deliver us from evil and immoral thoughts, feelings, and actions. Forgive our waywardness, and help us in our repentance, that we might live purely before You in all true manliness and femininity as the men and women You created us to be. We pray in Christ’s name. Amen.”
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