Avoiding Sexual Temptation (Part Three)

11She was loud and rebellious,
Her feet would not stay at home.
12At times she was outside, at times in the open square,
Lurking at every corner.
13So she caught him and kissed him; . . .
21With her enticing speech she caused him to yield,
With her flattering lips she seduced him.
(Proverbs 7:11–13, 21)

Whether single or married, in seeking to avoid sexual temptation, the Scripture admonishes men to be wary of:

• Rebellious, unfaithful, and disloyal women (v. 11; see also v. 19). If a woman is not trustworthy with others, why do you not believe she is deceiving you as well? (She has “a crafty heart”—v. 10.) Such a woman does not have your best interest at heart! If a woman talks disrespectfully or disloyally about her parents or her husband, you are a fool to think you might fare better. A woman who is unfaithful in other ways is a prime suspect for sexual infidelity as well.

• Loud, clamorous, and overly-talkative women (v. 11). “A foolish woman is clamorous.” (Proverbs 9:13—see v. 17 also: the woman described here is an adulteress) “Chatty Cathy” is often a flirt. Loud and raucous women are often that way because they are seeking the attention and approval of men.

• Women who flatter and give lots of and frequent praise (vv. 5, 21). Part of an overly-talkative woman's “strategy” involves lots of “flattering speech.” “Oooh, you’re so strong!” “You’re such a good listener”; “You’re so understanding”; “Your wife sure is lucky to have such a great guy for a husband.” Certainly some women are just very nice and complimentary; you don’t want to be paranoid. But at the same time, women intuitively know men are looking for respect and words of praise and honor, and if a woman wants to attract a man’s attention, she can do it with flattery and praise. This can be true for any man, but especially for those with low self-esteem or a lack of confidence. Men (and women) looking to feel better about themselves are prime targets for sexual temptation and sexual sin.

• Women who are oriented away from home and family (vv. 11, 12). Sexual attraction and sexual relationships are intended for home, husbands, and happy families. Single women who are more oriented toward the “single scene,” or married women who are more interested in trying to keep on living as if they were single, are often going to be more sexually aggressive and for all the wrong reasons. Watch out for dissatisfied housewives, who themselves are often seduced by men or a romantic fantasy.

• Intimate, physical contact with a woman unless you are married to her (v. 13). (Of course hugs and kisses of a non-sexual type are appropriate for mothers and sisters—but you know what I mean.) Giving in “just a little” is usually sin in and of itself, but normally it leads to “much more” anyway. The question “where to draw the line” is usually answered too late. Both men and women become “hooked” emotionally, relationally, and physically the more they succumb to physical, and especially sensual, touching. If a woman or a girl is touching you a lot, putting arms around you, hugging you, getting close to you, kissing you, etc., she is a flirt and most likely a “needy” girl. “It is good for a man not to touch a woman.” (1 Corinthians 7:1)

“Heavenly Father, give us men and women who are faithful, and make of us the same. Give us wisdom in our relationships that we might preserve integrity and promote the true love of God and our neighbor. Give wisdom and grace to our sons, husbands, and fathers; grant grace and wisdom likewise to our daughters, wives, and mothers—make of us all the men and women You want us to be, men and women who reflect the glory and purity and holiness of God as found in our faithful Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, in whose name we pray. Amen.”