Honor

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.” (Exodus 20:12)

The apostle Paul calls this the “first commandment with promise: that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.” Giving honor leads to long life. Giving honor leads to a life truly blessed by God.

As with all God calls us to, honor begins with God. God the Father glorifies His Son, and the Son glorifies the Father. (John 13: 31, 32; 17:1–5) The Holy Spirit honors both the Father and the Son who send Him forth. (John 16:14) Honor is at the core of their relationship (as is love), and they could have no relationship without it. Even so, our relationship with God is meaningless if we do not first learn to honor Him, and our honor of God is at the root of all other meaning in life: “The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.”

God has created us in His image, which means, among other things, that love and honor are at the root of all human relationships as well. God commands not only that children honor their parents, but honor in the home must begin with the parents themselves. Out of all the things that Paul could say to wives, he zeroes in on this one thing: “Let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33) And Peter focuses on honor also in his instruction to husbands: “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them [your wives] with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel [as you would a fragile vase], and as being heirs together of the grace of life.” (1 Peter 3:7) If fathers and mothers are not giving honor to one another at all times, it should be no surprise if their children, as the good little followers they are, show like dishonor to them.

Honor learned in the home is to be applied to all other human relationships. We are to honor those in civil authority (1 Peter 3:13–17; Romans 13:1–7), as well as those who rule over us in the church (Hebrews 13:17). We are even exhorted to compete with one another, trying to “outdo” one another in showing honor to one another as brothers and sisters in Christ. (Romans 12:10) In some way, we are to “honor all.” (1 Peter 3: 17)

Clearly honor and respect are not only to be present in our relationships, but rather honor and respect, which include the concepts of love and submission, are the very things that make any and all of these relationships function at all. Whether problems with kids, problems in the marriage, problems at work, problems in the church, problems in society at large, friendship problems—you name it—if there are “relationship problems,” they are sure to involve a lack of honor. Learn to honor, and you will have a long and blessed life. Where we fail to, we will have trouble and the unraveling of true relational unity and integrity.

“Great and wonderful Father, we give You thanks for Your great love for us, and for clothing us with the greatest honor, the honor of being adopted into Your family through the humility, sacrifice, and love of our Lord Jesus Christ. To You belongs all honor: teach us and fill us with honor for You in all that we think, do, say, and are. Teach us to honor one another: as husbands and wives, as children and parents, as brothers and sisters in Christ. Teach us, dear God, to show honor in all of our relationships, and may You receive the honor and glory forever and ever, through our glorious Lord and Savior. Amen.”