Love Thyself

He who gets wisdom loves his own soul;
He who keeps understanding will find good. (Proverbs 19:8)

He who disdains instruction despises his own soul,
But he who heeds rebuke gets understanding. (Proverbs 15:32)

There is a common teaching among Christians that one must learn to love oneself before he can ever hope to learn to love others. This teaching is based on one of the two “great” commandments, quoted by Christ from the Law: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” The Bible, however, in one sense already presupposes that we love ourselves, and in fact states in one spot (Ephesians 5:29), “No one ever hated his own flesh.” It would seem self-love to the exclusion of other-love is far more the problem than not.

We can, however, love ourselves either wisely or foolishly. The first proverb quoted above states it positively: If you are really going to love yourself, if you are really going to find good for yourself, if you really want to pursue happiness and blessedness and satisfaction for yourself (and who doesn’t?), then the way to love yourself truly is through the pursuit of true wisdom, the kind of wisdom that is found only in God the source of all wisdom. “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” (Proverbs 9:10) So, yes, we must love ourselves in order to love others; but the only way truly to love ourselves is to love God and pursue the one path of wisdom He has designed for all those who love Him.

The other proverb presents the same thing from a negative point of view: If you hate the wisdom of God, if you despise His rebukes and His instruction, then you hate yourself. There is no “nice” way of putting this. Hate God and hate His wisdom, and you most definitely despise and abhor yourself. You may be selfish in not loving God, but you are foolishly selfish, because you are doing the worst thing in the world for yourself: you are hating your self’s greatest Good.

Do you love yourself? Then love yourself wisely and do yourself the greatest favor you can: Love God uppermost and pursue His way of wisdom rather than foolishly rejecting His loving rebukes and all-wise instruction. Love wisdom, and she promises to love you back (Proverbs 8:17); “love her, and she will keep you” (4:6). You cannot learn to love yourself, not truly, apart from learning to love God. Rather, you will learn to love yourself best by learning to love God and His ways.

“Great God in heaven above, teach us to love ourselves wisely by loving You above all and by pursuing Your way of wisdom. Teach us as well to love our neighbors as ourselves by leading them to love You and by loving them as You have loved us. We give thanks this day for Your love and Your wisdom and for granting them to us through our Lord Jesus Christ, in whose name we pray. Amen.”